Recently, I began to accept that being high strung and serious may be my endeavor to control my true nature. On the surface, are still waters, while underneath is a torrent of rushing wild currents. Back in high school, just like any man, I was flushed with hormones waiting to be released. But my brain kept a lid on my urges. I reject my natural urges, simply because it comes with negative consequences. More often I would wish being self controlled didn't matter to me so much. Whereas, one would say, "nuts to the consequences, you won't be able carry them beyond your grave anyway." So why care? Men everywhere have babies with random women and they don't have a care in the world. They just follow the primal instinct to spread their genes, which looked down upon in society(not saying I'm for their actions). They say bad boys make the babies while the good guys get reeled in to father them. I see that mentality in the wild kingdom so it makes sense to me. The loud trouble making boys who have so many records carry the most desirable genes yet not adequate for marriage. This might be one other reason why some women want to try and change a degenerate. I know I'm desirable, I'm just rebellious and fiercely independent.
The thing is, I'm an odd ball or so I have been told. Black men typically would jump into confrontation, but I don't care to. When a racist calls me all sorts of words, I laugh. Girls often come to me before I think about chasing, I found courting to be a poor use of my time back in high school and a little after. Gang-banging is dumb to me, a self destructive influence on modern society. Drugs, to each their own, but i fail to see the benefits. Drinking, maybe socially, however it brings the out little moron in me that was once chained in my brain. When I think about, this is rebelling against not just African-American culture it's rejecting popular ideals of mankind itself. Except, just like everyone else, I'm a slave to money, and my dreams push me forward into cash.