When my cousin Ramone died i was devasted, that was my first introduction to how it will feel to lose someone. I have many more after that. Whether they were family or friends. Murdered or illness. After a while i would swear my warm lively red heart was transforming. Turning into something deep blue with lifeless image of the cold atlantic, hard with small cracks with a dark aura seeping out, lifeless as a corps.
I dont fear death. But losing others to their demise is a great fear of mine.